Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
