i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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