Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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