why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
