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I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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