neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
