Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
