so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
