I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
