I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
