Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think my tv is drunk
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
