Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
