I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
