batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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