We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
