I just made out with a guy for $7.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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