I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to make out with him forever
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
