Buhtt sex?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
