I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
