After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
