ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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