take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
