Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
