I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
