At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
