just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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