on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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