he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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