im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
