3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
