I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
