thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
