community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
