i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
