Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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