i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just had sex bonerless
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
