porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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