Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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