I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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