all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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