And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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