I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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