Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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