I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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