I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
