i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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