Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
