so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
