well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
