Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
