That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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