I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
